


This Looks Bad

by faithharkness



Series: In the Darkness of My Nights [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU-everybody lives, Companion Piece, Drinking, Gen, discussion of First Order badness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithharkness/pseuds/faithharkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One normally wouldn't think Ben Solo would be a good drinking buddy.  One would be right; but Jessika Pava has never let normal stop her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Looks Bad

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to "Victory Dance". Basically, why Ben was too distracted to "hear" Poe and Rey.

Ben was startled by the knock on his door. He had long ago resigned himself to the fact that although it was, in theory, “his” room, despite his ability to lock the door from within, there were some people who had override codes. Usually, visitors—if you could term the inquisitors, psytechs and his parents, visitors—just came in. 

He rose from his chair, where he had been reading, and walked to the door.

“Oh,” he said, when he opened it to see Jessika Pava standing on the other side.

“I thought I’d bring the party to you,” she said, entering his room.

“Are you…intoxicated?” he asked, taking in her wobbly gait and the bottle in her hand.

“Only a little. Okay, maybe more than a little. Is it always so shiny in your room?”

He sighed and closed the door. “No, that’s—”

She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “Is it the Force? Are you _using the Force?_ ”

“No,” he said, gently, directing her into an armchair with his hand on her elbow.

“Am I _seeing_ the Force? Is this what the Force looks like?”

“No, that is what alcohol attacking your vision center looks like,” he said, pulling up the ottoman to sit on.

She grinned. “Should we call it an attack when I unlocked the doors and let it in?”

He shrugged. “I let you in here and if you attempted to harm me, I’d call it an attack.”

“Rude.”

“Yes, but you knew that.”

She saluted him with the hand holding the bottle, scowling as she hit her temple with it.

He reached out and gently took it from her. His eyebrows rose as he read the label. “This is 20 year old Corellian rum.”

“Yes, yes it is,” she replied, making grabby hands.

“Did you steal this from Han?”

“If General Solo doesn’t want his honorary protégées to steal his liquor, he should keep it better hidden.”

“Clearly,” he said, opening the bottle. He took a long pull, then grimaced slightly. “Ugh.”

She laughed. “You should see your face! You look like a displeased Wookiee!”

He glared at her and took another drink. “Ah, that’s right; it gets better after the first drink. I think I remembered that.”

Jess took the bottle back. “That’s not much of a revelation, Solo. Most alcohol gets better after the first drink.”

He winced at her use of his surname.

“You have to get past that flinch reflex.”

“I have more important things to work on,” he replied, watching her take another long drink.

“Maybe we should give you a new name.”

He took the bottle back from her. “Wouldn’t that make the psytechs nervous? Me, adopting _another_ name?”

She waited until he was done taking a drink before replying. “That would be part of the fun. But I meant—gimme—I meant something that is yours. Work on being you before you work on being Ben Solo.”

He watched her take another drink. “But I am Ben Solo. Mostly.”

She shook her head. “You can’t even say ‘Ben Solo’ without getting a weird look on your face.”

“I’m not sure a new name would help with that.”

Jess shrugged, handing the bottle back. “What about Matt?”

“No.”

“You are no fun.”

“That is a true statement,” he said, dryly.

She laughed as he took a drink.

“What was the party for?” he asked, noticing her flinch at the question.

She flashed him an over-bright smile. “Finn got a clean bill of health from Dr. Kalonia. He gets to start training and decide what place he should take in this insanity.”

“And why does that make you sad?”

She took another drink and glared as she handed the bottle back to him. “That is a question a psytech would ask me; not a drinking buddy.”

“Noted. But you wouldn’t grimace about your friend being better. So what is it?”

“Lt. Bastian died on a patrol mission a week ago.”

“It was a wake, then?” He passed the bottle back.

“Oh, no, we did that already. No, Snap got promoted to take the lead in Red Squadron. They gave me Blue Squadron.” She paused to take a long drink. “I’m a leader, yay.” 

“You could turn them down.”

She set her jaw at him. “I’m no coward.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

She took a drink. “You implied it.”

Ben sighed and took the bottle from her. He took a drink, then rolled the bottle between his palms as he thought.

“Do you know what the First Order would do to you if they got their hands on you?” Ben asked.

She shrugged. “I imagine they prefer to shoot X-wings out of the sky, rather than take actual prisoners.”

“Not Blue One. You, Jessika Pava.”

“I’m confused.”

He handed the bottle back to her. 

She stared at him as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Snoke is the epoxy holding the First Order together,” he said.

“I’m going to need more.”

“I’m getting to that!”

She lifted an eyebrow at his sharp tone. She stared hard at him as she took another drink.

“Sorry.” He took a deep breath. “It’s taken some time to realize that what Snoke wanted from me wasn’t an apprentice; he wanted a weapon. He cultivated me; did testing runs; and shaped me as he saw fit. In some ways, his training style was just as flawed as Luke’s. There were things he wanted me to be able to do and things he was afraid I would learn.”

Jessika nodded. She was sure, despite the fogginess of the alcohol, that this was an integral part of the point he was trying to make. She just had to focus and wait it out.

She took another drink anyway.

“All Snoke really has is the Force and the strength of his personality. He is _powerful_ , but there are limits to that power. More importantly, there are things which can diminish and destroy that power.”

“Like you and Rey,” she said.

“Like me and Rey,” he agreed, taking the bottle from her. He took a long swallow before continuing. “And also you.”

“Me? You do remember I’m a null, right?”

“That is exactly why you are so dangerous.”

“This may be the rum talking, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“Those who are strong with the Force can see visions of the future. It’s part of what made Luke do the things he did.” 

Jessika growled low in her throat. Ben chuckled without pointing it out to her. He felt gratified that she had this reaction on his behalf, despite the previous hero status his uncle had held in her eyes.

“Luke did what he thought he had to do. He was wrong; or, at least, he wasn’t completely right. But can you imagine what would happen to those visions of possible futures if there was a null involved? A null they couldn’t see, so they couldn’t know the impact that person would have?”

Jess nodded. “I see your point. However, wouldn’t that make it _more_ likely the First Order would just obliterate my ship if they knew I was flying against them?”

Ben set the bottle aside and leaned forward to take her hands in his. She leaned forward into the touch, resting her elbows on his knees. 

“I’m not going to like this next part, am I?” she asked.

“No. And I need you to hear me.”

She focused on his face, locking her eyes onto his.

“The things they would do to you. Snoke would want to figure out a way to detect someone like you. And then he would try to figure out a way to make assassins null so Jedi could never sense them coming. You know what they did to me, Jess. Now, imagine what he would do to someone whom he _didn’t_ need to give at least the impression of affection.”

He squeezed her fingers, staring hard at her.

She rubbed her thumbs over the backs of his hands, trying to offer comfort, even though the major part of her brain couldn’t understand why _he_ was the one having a traumatic reaction to this news. She was the one under threat.

“The fact that you don’t understand the exact danger you are in every time you go up against the First Order doesn’t negate the fact that you are the furthest thing from a coward. If you don’t want the promotion; if you don’t want to lead, then don’t. I’m sure Poe would tell you that you are just as valuable at his back as you would be at his flank.”

Jess tried to process everything he’d just told her. It was a lot, and she was having a heavy night anyway. Instead, she grinned and let go of one of his hands, leaning forward to pluck the bottle off the floor.

“Congratulations, Ben Solo. You have taken a maudlin night and made it, quite frankly, terrifying.”

He winced. “I didn’t mean…I was trying to help.”

She squeezed the hand she still held. “I know. I appreciate it and I understand. But let’s see if we can’t find something happier to talk about, eh?”

He smiled and returned the gesture. “I could tell you about how Poe got that scar on the palm of his left hand. It involves the Force tree.”

Jess grinned wickedly. “I’d never turn down a story of wee Poe.”

He took the bottle from her and took another long drink.  
*****

Han Solo didn’t quite know what to do. He had come to his son’s room to see if he wanted to get breakfast together. Four months and Ben still said no, every day. And every day, Han tried again.

This morning, he’d gotten an earlier start than usual, hoping to catch Ben before he was fully awake and in control of all his mental faculties. Ben got his loathing of mornings from his mother; Leia had never met a morning she was happy to see.

Han paused just inside his son’s room. Ben and Jessika Pava were sprawled on the floor, Ben’s head resting on her stomach, their arms wrapped around each other. It would have been cute had it not also been slightly terrifying in its implications.

Han coughed.

Pava cracked an eye open at the sound of a cough. The other quickly followed when she saw Han standing a few feet away from her. She took a fast inventory and discovered, thankfully, that she was still fully clothed. She propped herself up on her elbows, which caused Ben to grumble at her.

_Oh, shit, Ben. Ben asleep on top of me. In front of his father. At least he’s not naked?_

“Okay, this looks bad,” she said.

Han just smiled at her. “I cannot wait to hear this.”

“You need to hide your liquor better,” Ben said, sitting up. He groaned and held a hand to his head.

“How about some breakfast, Ben?” Han offered. “Something with a lot of grease.”

Ben bolted for the refresher, slamming the door behind him.

“On that note, I’m going to hit the canteen. Sir,” Jess said, standing.

Han put a hand on her arm. “Thank you, Pava.”

She blushed and nodded, hurrying out of the room. 

_I need caff. Lots and lots of lovely caff,_ she thought as she hurried up the stairs. _Poe will have caff. Poe always has caff. Poe is a good friend._

She paused and smiled as she reached the hall of the pilots’ quarters. _Poe is a good friend who will share caff with me because I know how he got that scar on his hand. And I’ll promise to tell Rey about it so she will be overcome with how sweet he is and they will get their acts together._

She turned the corner and saw Snap standing outside Poe’s door. _Oh, no, you don’t, Wexley. That caff is mine!_

“Don’t tell Jess,” she heard Poe say as she reached them.

“Don’t tell Jess what?” she asked.

**Author's Note:**

> And, yes, the reason is he was drunk. Also, I have decided to christen Ben/Pava as "DarkBlue"; because I haven't seen it anywhere yet. And, yes, this series is _going there_. Eventually.


End file.
